Short Sheeting
by idon'tedit
Summary: Ron and Lavender have been annoying more than just Hermione with their excessive PDA. What happens when Fred asks Hermione to help him with pranking his brother as punishment for said behavior? One shot for now, may expand if there is interest. (very late birthday gift for a friend)
1. Chapter 1

Hermione was not exactly used to being included in things. It was a hold over from a lonely childhood in the muggle primary school system. So despite the fact that she had been attending Hogwarts for several years where she had befriended Harry and Ron, she still just wasn't quite used to that feeling. Particularly if it was someone other than Harry or Ron including her in something. That was why she was surprised when Fred approached her.

"I need you to make a distraction?" he whispered to her, pulling her attention away from the old spell book she had found on a previously unsearched library shelf.

"What?" she said, placing her bookmark next to a spell for folding socks and closing the book so she could focus on him.

"I," he said with far too much emphasis in his voice as he pointed to himself. "Need you, to make a distraction for me."

There was a round of gesticulating between him and her as if she wouldn't understand the words he was using before he offered her a winning smile that transitioned right into a wink when she stared at him with a question written on her face. She set the book aside and crossed her arms before offering him her most prefect-ly annoyed face.

"And why on earth would I do something like that?" she asked.

"Because I'm about to prank 'ittle Ronnekins, and you're definitely going to enjoy the show," he told her with a smirk. "But step number one is you making a distraction."

"And how do you suggest I do that?" she asked, suddenly interested in participating when she thought about how rude Ron had been to her since he started dating Lavender."

"Well, in just a few minutes George and Angelina are going to start making out and you'll go over to break them up, but you'll make quite the scene out of it," Fred explained. "And in order for it to really work you'll need to mention Ron somehow, so he's really paying attention to all of that. So I can sneak up to his dorm without drawing any attention to myself."

"Fine," she sighed, hoping that her hurt feelings didn't show on her face. "Tonight I shall be playing to part of Prudish Shrew to a full audience."

Fred laughed quietly and looked around the crowded common room before making meaningful eye contact with George. This was obviously the sign before George took that moment to start doing an impersonation of a Hoover vacuum trying to remove Angelina's face. After the initial shock had passed Hermione huffed and rose from the chair before stomping over to the amorous couple.

"Who exactly raised you George Weasley," she shouted as she reached out and smacked his arm, jolting him away from Angelina. "Between your behavior and Ron's your poor Mum must be losing her mind. It's despicable."

"Hey, leave my mother out of this," George snapped, and the irritation on his face was so believable she was almost upset until she saw the little glimmer in his eye.

"Oy, leave me out of it as well!" Ron interjected as he stood up from where he had been canoodling Lavender by the fire.

"Oh do shut up Ronald," Hermione said, turning to look at him and noting that he was focused on her and not on Fred quietly slipping into the stairwell that led to the boys dorm. "I was speaking about you not too you, and frankly not even about you. You on the other hand, are being deplorable!"

She was facing George once more, and this time she had to force herself to furrow her brow in frustration because the comical look of bewilderment on his face was honestly hysterical. She threw her hands up in exasperation as a strange mirror of him raising his own as if to ask her what she meant.

"You know quite well that the newest educational decree mandates that male and female students not come within 8 inches of one another. I sincerely doubt there are eight millimeters between the two of you at the moment," she said shrilly. "It's a disgusting show of public affection and I wont tolerate it. If you separate now I won't take points or report you."

"I didn't realize you were now a part of the Inquisitorial Squad," Angelina said quietly, and Hermione knew it was part of the distraction but it felt a little like a slap.

"I don't care what you are or are not aware of unless it is the school rules," Hermione said icily before she crossed her arms and started tapping her foot. "Are you really going to make me take points or are you going to put an appropriate amount of distance between yourselves."

"Alright, alright," George said, putting his hands up in supplication as he untangled himself from Angelina and stood from the couch. "I was going to go find my copy of Quidditch Through the Ages anyway, I guess I'll do that now."

And with that he was headed off toward the dorm and Hermione was left with everyone in the common room staring at her, though the only angry face was Ron's. Everyone else seemed to either be confused, slightly irritated, or appeared to think that this was every day behavior. As if there was nothing strange about Hermione being the PDA police. She wasn't sure if that pissed her off or just severely injured her pride. Either way she really wasn't interested in being in the room any more. So despite the fact that it was only an hour until curfew, she grabbed her previously abandoned library book and flounced out of the room.

"Of course they expect nothing less," she muttered angrily to herself as she stormed her way through the castle. "Hermione hates fun, Hermione hates affection, Hermione wants to ruin our lives. Whatever."

She fell silent when she spotted Mrs. Norris coming around the corner ahead. That meant Filch was nearby and she didn't want him to think she was crazy, or any other random observer to draw correlations between her and the caretaker who also tended to talk to himself. So instead, she silently made her way to the library. She plucked her bookmark from the book and handed it over to a pinched mouthed Madam Pince who pointedly glanced at her watch.

She held in her sigh and decided to find another book. It was a boring and prudish girl that would be reading a book about household charms, and she was quite shot of being thought of like that. What sort of books did exciting girls read she wondered? Well, she supposed, they probably didn't read books, but she wasn't feeling quite that revolutionary. Giving up reading was absurd. She decided that if Lavender was picking out a book it would probably be to learn appearance-altering charms and that was probably a good start. Maybe she'd even find something to make her hair at least feel more lightweight, if not actually look that way.

* * *

A few minutes later she was so fully immersed in her search of the shelves that she was yet again startled by the appearance of Fred Weasley. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she pulled a book out from the shelf and in the gap she found his face smiling cheekily at her.

"Merlin's pants Fred," she whisper yelled at him. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," she said with a smirk before he disappeared from the gap.

She had half a second to be confused before he jogged around the end of the aisle and appeared at her side with a lazy grin on his face before snatching the book from her hand.

"Bewitching Beauty Charms?" he read out loud. "Why are you reading this drivel?"

"How's that any of your business?" she groused as she snapped the book back, giving it a longing look before she replaced it on the shelf and folded her arms over again.

"I just wondered what exactly it is you think you need to change," he said with a shrug.

"You're hilarious," she snapped. "Would you like the comprehensive list with a detailed bibliography as to which source pointed it out, or just the cliff notes version."

"I'm not even sure what cliff notes are to be honest," he said with a smile. "But I don't want the list at all because I doubt it will be very funny, and I think you could use a good laugh."

"I'm doing just fine," she said, turning around to storm away from him.

"I doubt that," he said, grabbing the sleeve of her sweater to keep her from going.

Hermione jerked her arm away from him but she stopped walking away.

"I went to the trouble to create this great prank on Ron to make you laugh, and you didn't even stay to see the results." He pouted.

"Don't pretend that was for me.," she said with a sardonic laugh. "And it isn't as if the result was going to be instant, it won't happen until he goes to bed. Even then we may not see the results until morning if we see them at all."

"Oh you'll certainly notice the effects," he said with a laugh. "You might be right that it won't be until morning, but I know you'll notice it because I picked it specifically to make you laugh."

"Why would you care if I laugh or not Fred?" Hermione asked. "You've never cared much before about whether or not I find humor in something."

"Well that's not true at all. I care about everyone having humor in their life," he pointed out. "But I really wanted you to have it today."

"And what was your plan?" she asked, slightly curious.

"Well, you see, humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it," Fred pointed out. "So I thought I ought to make you laugh heartily at Ron so you can stop being upset over his relationship with that bimbo."

"Lavender isn't a bimbo," she said automatically before her brain caught up with her mouth. "Wait, how in the world do you know a Langston Hughes quote? Are you interested in American Poets?"

"Not at all," he laughed. "But this summer I was interested in pranking you, so I stole your book one morning when you were in the kitchen with Mum. I was going to charm it from where you'd been reading to tell you dirty jokes and that line happened to be on the page. I was interested in it. Somehow my prank turned into me stealing your book and reading it instead."

"I looked for that book for ages Fred Weasley!" she said, smacking his arm. "What did you even do with it?"

"I still have it actually…" he said, kicking the bookshelf softly with the toe of his trainer. "It's in my trunk at the moment."

"Well, I'd like it back please," she demanded, her voice softening slightly at the end. "I already owe a significant fine at the muggle library for not returning it yet. I also want to know what you did to Ron."

"Oh that," he said, his slightly bashful look going away with his laughter. "I short sheeted him."

"Isn't that a bit beneath you?" she asked with a quirked brow. "That's an elementary school prank. I'm sure Harry has already done it to him."

"Oh not like this he hasn't," Fred laughed. "It's a product George and I have been working on. It mirrors that look of the fitted sheet on the bed, so you can use it on anyone and it will always match, but over the course of the night, it shortens the person sleeping in the bed."

"Oh that's actually pretty funny," Hermione laughed.

"It gets better," he said, his eyes lighting up with mischief. "It is a progressive charm. So tomorrow morning he'll be about two inches shorter. He probably won't notice because he's obtuse, but you will. The next night it will be four inches, so he'll notice but he won't understand. You ought to encourage him to go to Madam Pomfrey because we unbelievably were able to convince her to help us, and she's got an infirmary bed set up for him already with a short sheet on it and she'll have him stay overnight for observation where he will shrink another four to six inches before she declares there is nothing medically wrong with him, he's just regressing to a shorter height for some reason and release him from the wing. He won't stop shrinking until he apologizes to you for how petty he's been."

"That's some very specific charm work," she said, half impressed and half confused. "But won't all of you other customers just keep shrinking then? They won't have anything to apologize to me for."

"The sheet it programmable," he explained. "When you open the package they will come in you put a hair of the person of the person who ought to be apologized to on the sheet and the rest takes care of itself."

"That's actually very impressive Fred," she pointed out, offering him a smile. "But how did you get some of my hair? And why on earth did you bother with any of this?"

Fred reached out toward her and she had to fight the urge to flinch away from him expecting him to tweak her nose or something. Instead he tucked her hair behind her ear and then presented her with a single strand of it and a smile on his face. It was strange to have him do something that seemed so affectionate. She wracked her brain and realized that she and Fred had never actually touched other than her slapping his arm when he was doing something silly. She didn't know what to think about the fact that patches of gooseflesh popped up on her arms beneath her sweater at the thought of his fingers brushing the lobe of her ear.

"It isn't as if your hair is very hard to come by?" he explained, pulling her away from her wool gathering. "And why wouldn't I bother with it? Ron is being a prat to you, and he was raised better than that."

"But why do you care?" she pressed.

"I know I shouldn't," he said with a slight frown as he dropped her hair and tucked his hands into his pockets. "I know that you've got a crush on him, and I shouldn't be paying you any mind because despite this idiocy right now I'm fairly sure he's got one on you as well, and yet here we are, with me caring."

Hermione felt overwhelmed as she met his gaze full on. His stare was so earnest and sincere. There was not a hint of a wink about him and she felt the realization crash around her shoulders. Fred Weasley had feelings for her. He had these feelings despite somehow knowing that she'd had a crush on Ron for several years. Had being the operative word though. He'd well and truly ended that for her with his antics with Lavender. Sure, she'd had a good cry when she first saw them together, but she was over it now. She wasn't jealous of Lavender because she had Ron. She was jealous because someone found her desirable.

"I think you're confused." Hermione said softly.

Something seemed to ripple across Fred's face before it settled into a calm façade once more. He took a hand out of his pocket and played with the cuff of her sweater for a moment, his eyes watching his fingers rather than her face, but he refrained from speaking for a bit. She watched his face instead. He seemed pensive. For half a second he seemed to chew his lip before a look of determination over took his features and he slid his hand down, twining his fingers with hers.

"I am not confused," he said firmly, locking his bright blue eyes with hers. "I've been sure for a couple years now, just unwilling to put myself out there when I thought Ron was interested. But since he's being a ponce it's his lost. I'm going after what I want."

"You misunderstand me," she said, squeezing his fingers a bit before relaxing her hand, but allowing him to keep a hold of it. "You're confused about my feelings toward Ron. My silly crush ended when he started up this very public courtship with Lavender Brown."

"Oh I doubt it's a sincere courting," he scoffed before his mouth twisted into a smirk. "But you aren't interested in 'ittle Ronnekins?"

"No, I am not," she assured him.

"Are you interested in me?" he asked, almost succeeding in hiding all insecurity from his voice.

"I am not uninterested in you," she said softly. "But to be honest I haven't ever given it any thought. I've not thought much about guys other than Ron except to assume that they also have no interest in a bookish prude."

"I really don't like it when you say things like that about yourself," he frowned, his fingers tightening around hers for a moment before releasing them so he could tuck back the hair that had fallen in front of her face when she looked down. "You don't really believe that do you?"

"I am bookish," Hermione pointed out. "You did find me in the library after all. I'm not ashamed of being labeled that. It's true. I suppose to an extent I am a prude as well, because I haven't really done any of those things… Well I mean I've been kissed, but I haven't done very many things. So I probably am prudish. It's just that word sounds so… I don't know… judgmental?"

"I don't think that being somewhat inexperienced makes you prudish," he pointed out before a look that she suspected may actually be jealousy crossed his face. "But who have you kissed? I didn't think that you and Ron had done anything like that…"

"Oh no, of course not!" she laughed. "Though I wanted that quite a lot in our third year. But I may have kissed a bit with Viktor at the Yule Ball. It wasn't a full on snog or anything. "

"You're first kiss was with an international Qudditch star?" Fred asked. "Hardly prudish Hermione."

"Oh that wasn't my first kiss," she laughed.

"Oh, I sense a story," he said, leaning a bit closer to her with a smile on his face that seemed to make her breath catch a bit. "Won't you tell me?"

Why was this making her cheeks heat up like that? And why did Fred seem so interested? Was he using this to flirt with her? Did she want him to be? What was that cologne he was wearing anyway?

"It was a muggle boy, the summer before third year," she heard herself explaining while a separate part of her brain was breaking down the different scents she could smell now that her nose seemed to be so close to his chest. "It wasn't planned at all, but French boys aren't nearly as supercilious about frizzy hair and buck teeth. I met him when we were on vacation and we ended up on an impromptu quasi date at a bakery that also served cheese and he kissed me goodbye when I had to meet back up with my parents to go see the Eiffel Tower."

"And what was this debonair Frenchman's name?" Fred asked.

"Reginald," Hermione said, slightly embarrassed that her voice sounded a little breathy. "Does your cologne have mint in it?"

"It does, but you're getting off track," he said as his fingers found their way under her chin and tilted her head up so she was fully meeting his gaze, a gaze that was much closer than she remembered from a moment ago. "You do seem partial to boys with multi-syllable names, and two out of the three start with R. Should I be concerned about my chances with my one measly syllable and aggressive letter F?"

"What?" Hermione asked, seeming to lose the train of the conversation as she watched his pale pink lips moving while he asked the question at an estimated distance of eight inches from her mouth.

"I asked if you take issue with my name, but I can see that is of little priority to you, so I've come up with a different question," he said with a smirk that went all the way to his sparkling eyes.

"What is that?" she whispered.

"Would you mind very much if I kissed you now?" he asked, his voice seeming to drop a bit and roll straight down her spine with a delightful tingle.

"Yes please," was her response, which pulled a deep laugh from his chest.

"That's not quite the proper response Miss Granger but I think I can decipher you meaning," Fred said before he closed the remaining distance between them and pressed his lips to hers.

Hermione certainly wasn't used to kissing. She did so little of it up to this point in her life. It was all her mind could think about now. She found herself cataloging that his lips were soft. They weren't chapped like Viktor's had been and they weren't slicked with balm like Reginald's were. They were soft and had just the right level of moisture for her to appreciate. When he body seemed to respond on it's own and she parted her lips he followed suit she discovered that either he'd just had candy or he used cinnamon flavored tooth paste. She liked that. Her mind made a list of facts, such as the fact that his sweater was soft from being worn often, but it felt nice against her palms. His cologne was stronger when she was this close but she liked the fresh clean scent of it. His hands felt strong when they found themselves on her hips holding her just close enough to kiss her with ease, but to maintain a respectful distance between their chests. She found that kissing Fred was like breathing and she wasn't exactly inclined to stop.

She did however manage to keep from whimpering in disappointment when he broke away from her. She felt her mouth pull into a moue of disappointment but she was met with a beaming smile from Fred. She was relieved to see that he at least seemed to be breathing a little heavier just as she was. He released her left hip to adjust her hair once more before brushing his thumb over her now quiet moist lower lip.

"I don't know about you, but I liked that very much," he told her in a voice that was deeper than the one he'd been using earlier.

She responded by kissing the pad of his thumb before he pulled his hand away.

"No one would dare call you prudish," he said with a husky laugh before he hastily put his hands in his pockets.

Hermione was confused until she heard the click of heals on the stone floor behind her. She turned to face the approaching person, hoping her face wasn't too flushed. She wasn't surprised to see that Madam Pince looked irritated as she approached them.

"I'm not sure what the two of you think you're up to in here," she said. "But the library is closing, and its five minutes to curfew so you had best get back to your dorm. Separate dorms I think I ought to specify."

"Of course Madam Pince," Hermione said quickly before grabbing up the book once more. "We were just debating the merit of this book, but I think I really do want to check it out. Would that be alright to do very quickly before we hurry back to Gryffindor?"

"You can stay to check it out before leaving," she sniffed. "But you had best head back right now Mr. Weasley."

"Yes Ma'am," he said while tipping an invisible hat to her before he scurried out of the library.

Hermione was barely paying attention as she checked the book out and was shooed from the library by an irritated librarian. She felt like she was floating down the corridor rather than walking as she hurriedly made he was back to Gryffindor. She was somehow detached from her life at the moment, and that is perhaps the only reason she didn't scream when Fred popped out from behind a suit of armor to take hold of her hand again.

"Why are you checking out that book?" he asked as they walked at a fast clip back to the tower. "You're beautiful already."

Hermione couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Maybe you think so," she said when she'd stopped laughing. "But this book might be able to help me control this nest."

"Please don't get rid of your curls," he said with a pout as they rounded the corner that brought them near the Fat Lady's Portrait.

"Of course not," she said with a shake of her head. "But it would be nice if they didn't feel like they weighed a ton or frizzy out to three times this size during poitions class."

"Fair enough," he said, pulling them to a stop directing in front of the portrait. "This feels far too soon to be asking this question without sounding needy, but what is our approach here? Are you still going to hold my hand when we go inside? Am I supposed to pretend I didn't just kiss you in the library? Pretend I don't want to do it again right now?"

"How about one last kiss before we go inside, but then you're only allowed to hold my hand in front of other people," she suggested.

"But more kissing is allowed if there aren't other people around?" he asked, his eyes brightening with his smile.

"Oh I think I like that idea quite a bit," she said with a breathy laugh.

"Well alright then," he said with a laugh of his own before he started to kiss her once more.

There was a chance their kiss might have gotten out of control because of how much she liked it if it weren't for the fact that they were standing in front of a portrait that really liked to talk to the students. Or to chide them when she felt they were misbehaving.

"Shall I go and get Professor McGonagall or do you two intended to get inside and stop with the corridor romance?" the Fat Lady asked.

"Alright then, we're going," Fred told her with a half hearted frown. "Fizzing Wizzbies."

The portrait swung open and Fred pulled her in with him before closing it behind them. He walked with her hand in hand into the common room where a few students were still lingering though it appeared the majority of the tower had made their way to the dormitories. Fred smirked as he looked at George before clearing his throat.

"Oiy, the lot of you clear out of here so my girlfriend will let me kiss her," he said, causing Hermione to flush scarlet with mortification as all eyes turned to them.

Whatever look Fred had on his face must have convinced them to listen because everyone bailed out of the room. As soon as they were gone Fred made her pull her face out from where she'd been hiding it against his shoulder and ran his fingers through her hair while tilting her head back. His other hand took the book from her and dropped it onto an armchair before he angled her so she could rest her hip against it and he kissed her more thoroughly than she'd ever been kissed in her relatively short life.


	2. Chapter 2

Ron wasn't all that observant. Hermione knew that already, but his behavior at breakfast really drove the point home. He'd slouched his way half asleep from the common room to the great hall without much more than a grunt. He slumped onto the bench and immediately began shoveling bacon into his mouth. She had to admit the change was subtle so far. He had shrunk enough that his robes that had perhaps been a bit too small for him now fit perfectly. She noted that, but honestly what really drove the difference home for her was that now he wasn't quite looming over Harry, just slightly taller. Harry seemed to notice that something was off at least.

"Ron did you final break your strike and shave those few hairs that had grown in on your chin?" Harry asked while still focusing on buttering his toast.

"No," he grumbled, pieces of bacon falling out of his mouth and causing Hermione to cringe. "I'm telling you I give it a week or two until it grows into a full on beard."

"Yeah right," she murmured to herself though neither boy seemed to notice.

"Well I don't get it," Harry said finally looking at him. "Something's different about you but I can't place it."

Hermione hid her smirk behind a glass of pumpkin juice while she waited to see if Ron would have any clue. She sipped the drink while she watched a subtle flush crawl up his neck and over his ears wondering what had him embarrassed. She has about half a second to wonder before a smirk came over his face and she realized she wasn't quite sure what his blush meant after all.

"You can actually tell something is different then?" Ron said with what sounded like a cocky laugh. "I never believed that was a thing, but yeah okay. I look different because I finally landed the pink carpet in the dark tunnel."

"What?" Harry asked looking dumb founded.

At the same time Hermione choked on her juice and spewed it out all over her breakfast before proceeding to start hacking her lung up. She felt her face turning red as all eyes turned to her and wanted to sink beneath the table. Instead however she felt a warm hand clap her on the back. It happened twice more before the coughing stopped and she pulled in some air while turning her head gratefully toward her helper. She felt a smile appear when she saw that it was Fred.

"My apologies mi'lady I was certain I'd slipped the cough draught into my idiot brother's juice this morning and it appears that I was mistaken," Fred said with a wink. "Will you be able to forgive me?"

"I suppose," Hermione said softly as she used a napkin to quickly dab the juice from her chin.

"Oiy then why are you trying to make me choke up my pumpkin juice like an idiot then?" Ron snapped. "What did I do to you?"

"Do you mean other than your birth," George said as he sauntered up to the table and dropped down on to the bench on the other side of Hermione.

"Good morning then," Fred said to George while he watched Ron cycle through shades of red while his brain tried to catch up with his anger.

"Morning," George agreed before offering Hermione a beaming smile and then startling her by kissing the top of her head. "Good morning girlfriend by extension."

It was Hermione's turn to turn seven different shades of purple while she turned wide eyed to stare at Fred. She could feel that her mouth was hanging open but her mind was running through terrifying possibilities of the twins expecting her to be shared between them.

"I-uh, I mean to say," Hermione stuttered, her face growing hotter by the second.

"Girl friend," Ron shouted. "What are you on about?"

"I'm not… He wasn't," Hermione stammered. "He's kidding."

"No I wasn't," George said genially. "You just misunderstood my meaning. You see Fred and I are identical twins. No difference between us. So you are my girlfriend when you think about it. Only I've no intention of snogging you. I'll leave that Fred over there."

"I'll thank you for that," Fred said while tipping an invisible hat before he leaned in to whisper in Hermione's ear. "And you can stop trying to swallow your tongue. I don't like to share, even with George."

Hermione only just managed to stop from saying thank Merlin out loud. Instead she offered him a smile while he tucked her hair behind her ear. She might have tried to say something to him, but Ron was unable to contain himself.

"When did this start then?" Ron groused.

"Not that it's any of your business," Hermione snipped turning to give him a hard stare. "But it started last night. You wouldn't have known of course as you were apparently concerned with a certain pink carpet."

"Oh you did not use that analogy did you?" George asked, distaste written clearly on his face.

"How is that a phrase?" Harry asked, looking up once more from his breakfast that had apparently become very fascinating while Hermione and the twins were talking. "It barely makes sense, and honestly it sounds crass."

"You'd know crass," Ron grumbled without looking at him, his ears turning red again.

"What's that?" Fred asked his face still carved with stern lines when he was looking at Ron.

"Nothing," Ron sighed before picking up his fork and looking at his plate once more. "Congratulations and all that. I didn't know bookish was your type, but glad your happy."

"You don't seem all that glad," Fred said with an air of irritation. "You seem almost petulant about it actually. Doesn't he George?"

"That he does Fred," George agreed. "You'd think—"

"That he had feelings for Hermione?" Fred finished for him. "I wonder—"

"How dear ol' Lavender feels about that," George asked.

Harry was starting to look decidedly uncomfortable. Ron looked like he was about to lose his temper once more. Hermione felt like her best option was to sink into a hole in the ground. Fred seemed to sense this because he put his hand softly on her lower back and offered her a twinkling smile when she turned to look at him.

"Lucky for you we don't care to ask her," Fred said. "Now that the cats out of the bag I think I'd like to take my girlfriend for a walk about the grounds before she puts that delightful brain of hers to great use in her classes today. Shall we?"

"We shall," Hermione agreed, jolted by the realization that Fred' complimenting her brain made he slightly week in the knees.

* * *

"Has he noticed yet?" Fred asked as he flopped down on the couch by Hermione.

She was about to chide him for nearly making her dump her text books on the floor but then she saw that he was holding out an Irn-Bru bar. She looked from it to him and back at it as she tried to recall a single time that she'd ever mentioned her favorite candy to him. He winked at her and placed it in her hand when she still hadn't taken it.

"I'll not tell you until you answer my question," he laughed.

"Oh! Sorry," she said while blushing. "No he hasn't. Harry has noticed that something is different, but hasn't placed it. You'd think Ron would notice first but apparently not."

"That honestly makes it funnier," he chuckled before nudging her hand. "Go on. Eat it. I haven't done anything funny with it, promise."

"How did you know that this is my favorite candy?" she asked as she began tearing the wrapper open. "My parents don't even know. Thankfully. They'd have a field day knowing I was eating something so sugary."

"You told Ginny almost that exact thing. It obviously made an impression on her as she wrote it in her diary," Fred said with a shrug.

"You read your sister's diary?" Hermione said shrilly as she slapped his arm. "Wait she still keeps one after what happened in second year?"

"No," he chuckled, grabbing her hand and kissing her fingers before he let it go. "And no I wouldn't read it if she did, but I asked her what candy is your favorite. I had to spend a fair little bit of our money from the Skiving Snack Boxes to get that muggle candy sent to wizarding school."

"You didn't have to do that you know," she pointed out before she took a bite of the candy.

Her eyes were closed so she didn't see his reaction to her eating the candy but she heard him groan after she sighed with happiness at the taste of her favorite candy. That made her snap her eyes back open to look at him. His face was stuck somewhere between a smile and a look of pain.

"Oh but I did," he said as his face relaxed fully into a smile. "Just for that one little moment right there. It was even better than making you laugh at my idiot brother. Shame we're in a crowded common room at the moment."

"Yes, shame that," she agreed understanding what his pained look must have meant and hoping that she wasn't blushing too strongly. "Don't you have homework?"

"Me? Never," he said as he settled back into the couch and brought his arm around her shoulder as if it were something they did every night. "George and I do our homework in class so we have time to work on the business in the evenings. We're taking the night off though."

"Because of me?" she asked feeling both insecure and honored.

"Well yeah," he shrugged. "But if we're being totally honest, because of Angelina as well. I think George is off snogging her senseless."

"I see," she said. "Is that your plan for the evening as well?"

"I'm here to give you sour candies and watch you read while I enjoy the firelight and the smell of your shampoo," he said earnestly without a hint of a joke on his face. "Any plans of snogging will obviously be instigated by you."

"Very gentlemanly of you," she giggled with a blush.

"Always," he agreed while tipping that invisible hat from breakfast in her direction.

"You do like to do that don't you?" she asked with a laugh.

"I read about it in a book once," she said with a shrug. "I liked the idea of gesturing without having to wear the hat. I intend to do it many more times in my life. Best get used to it."

"I think I can," she told him with a smile before returning her attention to her book.

Hermione lasted one candy bar and roughly thirty minutes before she decided that was exactly what she wanted to instigate. Spending that time tucked against his body, feeling how warm he was, and each breath moving through his chest kept her very aware of his presence as well as the fact that she really hadn't ever sat so close to any boy before. It made it terribly difficult to focus on her advanced transfiguration book.

She wasn't exactly sure when this… desire had grown in her, but she found it was more demanding than she had anticipated. She supposed, from a logical stand point, that she could now see why Ron had such a hard time keeping his hands off of Lavender. She was having the same issue with Fred, which she hadn't anticipated, and yet since that first kiss in the library she found herself thinking about him quite a bit. She didn't want to seem desperate or something, so she was very methodical about placing her bookmark and closing her book. She didn't look at Fred at all as she packed her book as well as the others she had stacked next to her back into her school bag. She didn't even look at him as she stood up and smoothed out the creases in her skirt.

"I think I am going to sneak out for a walk," she said very quietly as she finally did look at him.

"Well I couldn't possibly let you go alone," he said with a smirk as he sprung up off the couch. "You might get caught."

"I never get caught," she said somewhat haughtily as she turned toward the door.

"You always get caught," he laughed quietly. "That's why the whole school always seems to know about the Gryffindor Trio's escapades."

"Shh," she chided. "I don't get up to escapades. I'm a prefect. A prefect that could totally talk their way out of 'getting caught' as you say by telling Filch I'm on rounds."

"Prefects don't do rounds after hours," Fred said as he held the portrait open for her. "Lucky for us."

"Indeed," she agreed as she allowed him to lead her off down the dark corridor.


	3. Chapter 3

Pranking was always in good humor, at least that was what Hermione had thought not really being a prankster. When Ron pulled her aside the next day to have a private conversation she wasn't quite so sure anymore. She hated it, but she felt badly when she saw how upset he was becoming. Harry had already gone to breakfast and a peaky looking Ron asked her to stay behind so he could talk to her.

"I don't know what's happening to me Mione," he said and she forced herself not to cringe at the butchering of her name. "I've always been taller than Harry. It's been the one thing you know. Why am I shrinking? I don't understand."

"Is being taller than him that important to you?" she asked, and it was partially to avoid answering his actual question and partially because she was legitimately concerned about his feelings at the moment.

"It's just…" he trailed off, messing up his hair before he looked up at her, and honestly he did have to look up a bit because he was just slightly shorter than her now. "He always gets everything you know? This felt like it was my year. I was still the tallest, I'm actually starting to get facial hair, I finally lost my, uh you know. But now? Now I'm rapidly shrinking!"

"Well maybe you ought to go see Madam Pomfrey," she said suddenly not feeling quite so guilty when he equated sexual relations with Lavender to a point to be earned in some imaginary competition. "She can figure out what is happening to you."

"You don't think I'm sick do you?" he asked with real concern on his face. "Like an actual disease?"

"I don't know to be honest," she said with a shrug. "But it could be. And what if it's contagious? What if the whole castle starts to shrink because you refused to go see the nurse?"

"Well when you say it like that," he groused. "Fine. I'll go see her before breakfast."

* * *

"So he still hasn't shown up for class?" Fred asked her at lunch, and she was sure he only looked concerned because Harry was eating with them.

"No," she said as she poured each of them pumpkin juice. "My guess is that she's having him sleep on the ward while she tries different potions or spells to fix the shrinking issue."

"Why is he shrinking anyway? Have you heard of any bug that causes that?" Harry asked while he cut up his roast beef.

Hermione and Fred shared a look before they both shrugged. Harry was too focused on his lunch to really notice how suspicious that had been so he didn't question it. Hermione quickly ate a bite of her own roast beef to keep herself from nervously laughing.

* * *

Ron had been released by dinner, and he was incredibly sulky over the fact that somehow his time in the hospital wing had actually made him even shorter. He was now a full two inches shorter than Harry. Ron thought it was horrible but Harry found it pretty funny. Hermione made a point not to say anything, but suddenly Fred and George were very concerned about their little brother's well being.

"Does she have any ideas what is wrong with you?" George asked him with faux concern all over his face.

"Surely she doesn't," Fred said before Ron could get a word in. "I mean look at him, he is shorter than he was this morning."

"Well then why isn't she sending you to St. Mungos?" George asked. "Doesn't she think it's serious?"

"No," Ron grumped. "She's pretty convinced that it's a harmless prank."

Fred and George looked offended when he fixed them with a glare. They looked between each other as if confused before looking back at him with false anger on their faces. Ron put his hands up in defense before they even spoke.

"How dare you accuse us of doing this." George started.

"To our own brother even."

"We have never—"

"Been so offended," Fred said before the pair ended their volley and fell silent.

"You two are always pranking me," Ron pointed out.

"But not like this," Fred argued.

"It obviously has to be someone who actually wants to hurt you," George agreed.

"Someone like Malfoy," Fred suggested, and Hermione nearly swallowed her tongue to keep from laughing.

"They're probably right," Harry agreed and then Hermione had to pinch herself to keep from laughing.

"I agree," Hermione said as she abandoned her dinner and started gathering up her book bag. "I've got to go though. I'll see if I can find a counter curse in the library okay?"

She didn't wait for an answer though. She high tailed it out of the great hall before she could lose control. She was only about four feet from the closed doors before she gave in to a peel of laughter. She was failing to move forward anymore, and clutching her side with full belly laughs when Fred caught up with her.

"We're going to have to work on your game face if you want to help with pranks," Fred said as she scooped her up into a tight hug and joined in her laughter.

"I- I'm sorry," she gasped, trying to reign in her mirth. "But Harry agreeing with the Malfoy thing just really pushed me over. I mean I know he's a prat, but come on, he isn't that smart."

"Did you just call me smart?" Fred asked in a growling voice right next to her ear that sent heat rushing to her abdomen. "Do you have any idea what that does to me?"

"I have an idea," she said breathily as she turned her head to the side to brush her lips against his.

For a moment they forgot where they were and focused entirely on kissing one another. Fred tangled his fingers in her hair and she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck pulling them closely together. Hermione blamed the new sensation of their chests pressed together on her not hearing the click of approaching heels before they were interrupted by a quiet throat clearing. Her blood that had been pumping hotly through her veins suddenly rain cold at the realization of who had just caught them when she heard a second hem, hem. They broke apart instantly and turned to face the pink monstrosity that was confronting them.

"I expected better from a prefect Ms. Granger," Umbridge chided as she stalked closer to the pair that now had a respectful eight inches between them. "Though I suppose that was wishful thinking in relation to friends of Harry Potter. Twenty points each from Gryffindor, and a detention for you Ms. Granger."

"Why does she get a detention?" Fred asked, an icy tone to his voice that Hermione had never heard him use, and certainly not at a professor.

"Are you jealous Mr. Weasley?" Umbridge said seeming to puff up like a bird. "Would you like one as well?"

Fred opened his mouth to respond but Professor McGonagall chose that moment to exit the great hall and Hermione was quite grateful for that. A situation that was rapidly spiraling out of control had ice water dumped over it at the approach of their head of house with a stern look on her face. Umbridge showed no signs of backing down, but she at least stopped resembling a bird.

"What's going on out here?" McGonagall asked in a voice that sounded like genuine interest but with a face that threatened anger.

"I've just caught these two on the verge of copulating in a school corridor," Umbridge snapped. "I've taken points and assigned detention accordingly."

"We were not about to copulate!" Hermione snapped at the same time that Fred snarled. "Well she is putting Hermione in a detention that is sure to be torturous but I'm getting off Scott-free and I suspect its due to my parentage."

Their tumult of noise left only the phrase 'my parentage' to be heard and it seemed to echo around the entrance hall in the quite that followed. McGonagall looked between the pair and the other professor seeming to be calculating the best way to handle the situation.

"If you'll excuse us however, I will be taking Ms. Granger to serve her detention immediately." Umbridge said before McGonagall could get a word in. "If Mr. Weasley is so desperate to serve a detention, by all means, oversee it yourself. Come along Ms. Granger."

Hermione glanced once more at Fred and saw that he still looked pissed before she followed the pink toad down the corridor. She wondered if Fred already knew what detentions with the most hated professor in the school really meant, or if he was only angry at the unbalanced punishment. She honestly hoped it was the latter because she was sure he would be blaming himself for whatever she'd be forced to carve into her hand if he knew, and she was hoping to have a chance to glamour whatever traces were left before seeing him again so he wouldn't feel guilty about it. She realized with resignation that she suddenly understood why Harry never wanted to talk about his detentions.

* * *

Two hours later Hermione was still sitting in the overly pink, kitten plate filled office of a woman she now loathed refusing to react as she slowly carved the phrase _Prefects are not shameless strumpets_ deeper and deeper into her hand. Oddly it seemed to have stopped hurting as keenly as it had in the beginning. Instead of the sharp pain she first felt in her hand, it felt as if her entire hand and wrist were very hot and as if they had grown quite large. The writing sensation felt as if she were scratching a balloon, or that was the best way she seemed able to explain the sensation to herself.

"Let's see if the message has sunk in then," Umbridge said as she approached from the side of the desk and grabbed Hermione's hand roughly.

Oh, there is the pain, she thought to herself in a detached way as a great spike of it seemed to lance through her at the pressure of her grip. She noticed though that Umbridge seemed equal parts fascinated and disgusted with the blood weeping from the words. Hermione knew in that moment that this woman was just as bad as Voldermort. She clearly hated muggleborns just as much, and somehow she was in a position of power over children; children that she seemed to take pleasure in physically torturing.

"I think we've made out point haven't we?" she asked snidely as she threw Hermione's hand down on the desk.

Hermione only nodded. She would not look at her hand. She would not think about what that phrase really meant. She simply wouldn't. She just nodded her agreement, and then gathered her bag when she was released from detention. She felt somehow disconnected from her own body as her mind fought valiantly to keep her from processing the reality of what had just happened. She was so lost in thought that she made it all the way to the portrait of the fat lady before she remembered to place a glamour on her hand.

"There you are," Fred said quietly when she stepped inside.

She nearly jumped out of her skin He'd been standing directly beside the portrait hole and she hadn't expected that. He reached for her with gentle hands and pulled her into a soft hug and that seemed to be her breaking point. He tucked her head into the crook of his shoulder just seconds before she broke and sobbed into his shoulder. She was grateful that he was there to hide her face because she was so embarrassed to be crying in the common room.

"Shh, shh, it's okay Hermione," he soothed as he patted her hair. "I'll take care of you. I promise."

"That woman is vile," she coughed into his shoulder as tried to get her tears under control.

She leaned back to meet his gaze when he agreed and his face was so different from the mirth filled face she was used to. It was still Fred but there was a softness, a tenderness, that just made her fall for him harder. He gently brushed the tears from her face and she almost wanted to cry again at the gesture for some reason. He didn't say a word as he led her over to a large armchair by the fire and settled them in it together. She was relieved to discover from their short walk that they were alone in the common room.

"What did she make you write," he asked when he had her tucked safely into his side, her head tucked under his chin.

"You know then?" she asked quietly.

"Yes, I know," he whispered, running his fingers through her hair. "Please take the glamour off your hand."

She did as he asked, and he very gingerly took her hand in his and lifted it so he could see it properly in the low light. She felt him stiffen beside her, and for a second he stopped breathing. She worried that he would fly into a rage, but after perhaps half a minute of the unearthly stillness he slowly relaxed beside her and set her hand down on his leg while he dug in his pocket.

"I'm sure she said something about letting the message sink in, but don't you let it for a second you hear me?" he said as he produced a small jar of dittany and used his free hand to gently massage it onto her hand.

Hermione bit her lip to keep from hissing in pain, or starting to cry again. It did hurt, but this time the tears wanted to come from the dittany slowly erasing the words from her hand. Like it hadn't happened. She couldn't properly put into words what it did to her heart to watch Fred's thumb move in circles over the top of her hand, rubbing the dittany in, and erasing the word strumpet from her skin.

"Thank you," she murmured, her lips brushing against his neck, making her keenly aware of it being wet from her tears, and the fact that she had never been positioned against him like this without it having some sort of sexual undertone before.

"I'm sorry," he murmured as he continued to run her now clear and pain free hand. "This was my fault."

"No it wasn't," she argued quietly. "It was that foul woman."

"Still," he sighed, sounding so sad. "If I hadn't been snogging you in the corridor."

"You are not allowed to stop snogging me, no matter what sort of name she calls me," Hermione said, squeezing his hand for emphasis.

"Alright then," he said with a soft breathy laugh that lacked his usually joy. "If you insist."


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n: its very short, and it doesn't advance the plot line much, but it helped me flex my writing muscles and combat the crippling writer's block that has taken hold of me lately. so I hope you enjoy**

* * *

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I would really rather skip the D. A. meeting tonight," Hermione said as she walked with Fred to the room of requirement.

"Blaspheme!" he chuckled and she saw his hand twitch like he was going to grab hers but he fought the urge and stuck to their new rule of no PDA in the corridors. "The founder of the group doesn't want to attend a meeting? You can't let people hear you talking like that."

"I'd just much rather curl up on a comfy couch with a certain someone," she said with a shrug. "Preferably where Ron can't find us because his pleading for me to find something in the library is getting very irritating at this point. He's never going to figure out how to stop the shrinking, and he already looks like he's a first year all over again."

"I may have to pull him aside and let him know how to end the spell," Fred said earnestly as he opened the door to the room for her. "We didn't complete enough testing on shrinking of the level that he's about to reach and I'm actually starting to get a bit concerned about organ damage. He's a prat but I don't want to kill him."

"You should talk to him after the meeting," Hermione said. "Or better yet tell him right now and he'll make a scene. Then the meeting will get cancelled."

"You don't sound like the Hermione I'm used too," Fred said with a low chuckle.

"Yes well, I suspect witchcraft from your hand again," she laughed as she set her book bag in the corner and produced her wand so she'd be ready for the lesson of the evening. "I haven't figured out your charm work yet, but you've obviously done something to make it so my body can only seem to listen to my hormones rather than my brain."

"Did you just admit to lusting after me?" he whispered in her ear before offering a wave to George who was eyeing them from across the room with a smirk.

"Not exactly," she said, feeling her cheeks heat up as she nodded her head at George who was smirking at her.

"Hermione, I promise I haven't pulled any sort of prank on you," Fred said earnestly, meeting her gaze fully this time.

"I know that Fred, I'm just giving you a hard time," she said quietly. "This is all just very new to me, and as a logical person suddenly having my hormone suddenly surge to the forefront of my mind is somewhat difficult to tolerate."

"Is it really so intolerable?" he asked as he tucked a curl that had sprung free of her braid behind her ear before trailing his finger down the column of her throat and causing goose bumps to erupt all over her body.

"No," she said shakily before her attention was diverted to Harry stepping into the center of the room.

"Alright everyone," Harry said calmly, completely unaware of how in his element he was teaching. "We are going to be working on the patronus charm again tonight."

There were a few groans, and Hermione fought not to be one of them. She was not used to struggling with magic, and it was very frustrating that this wasn't coming to her very easily. Instead she forced a smile onto her face and tried not to react to the little smirk that she saw on Fred's face.

"Remember," Harry explained. "While wand work and pronunciation is important, this spell is really about focusing on a moment when you were extremely happy. The patronus is made of that same energy that you feel when you are happiest. Go ahead, give it a try and I'll come around to work with you one on one."

"A moment when we were most happy you say?" Fred asked her with a wink. "I think I'll picture your face from last night when I kissed the inside of your wrist."

Hermione gasped and opened her mouth unsure if she was going to yell at him or not, but she didn't get a chance before he cast the charm. Her mind quickly shifted to being impressed when not only did he successfully cast the charm but he created a fully corporeal one at that. She quickly morphed from awe to humour though when she realized what it was. She devolved into peels of laughter and Fred turned to stare at her with a wicked grin on his face.

"Are you laughing at my magic witch," he said with fake sternness. "I'd like to see you produce one if you think it's so funny."

"I'm not laughing at you magic," she gasped. "I'm laughing at the idea of a flock of dementors running scared from a little bumblebee. I mean it's a bee. It's not exactly a lion."

"Hey now," Fred said with a laugh of his own. "I'll have you know that my bumblebee is very fierce. It could take on a thousand dementors at once."

"Yes," Hermione said, sobering her voice as she wiped tears of mirth from her face. "It is a very powerful bee."

"Well now I really want to see yours," Fred said, but then he became distracted by George successfully casting his own and devolved into laughter again.

"Hey now, don't laugh over the Mr. Bumblebee," George called as he watched his little patronus crawl around on the floor. "Salamanders are very cool, and if I remember my reading right they represent balance and resourcefulness. Much better than an insect."

"Actually," Hermione interjected as an old book about spirit animals popped up in her mind. "Bumblebees represent celebration and community which is very well placed with Fred. I must admit though that I wish yours had been a butterfly George."

"Oh? He asked as he crossed the room to join them so their conversation could be a bit quieter. "And what does a butterfly represent?"

"Oh I have no idea," Hermione admitted. "However my father likes to watch boxing, and there is this famous boxer who has a catch phrase about floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee. It would have been cute if you guys were paired like that."

"We are not cute," Fred laughed. "Strikingly handsome of course—"

"But definitely not cute," George agreed.

"Why don't you give it a try Hermione," Harry said as he joined their group. "I feel like today is the day."

"I hope you're right," Hermione said with a sigh. "It's never taken me this long to master a spell."

"Don't think about that," Fred pointed out. "Think about happy memories only. Ooh think about last Friday— ough."

Hermione smacked Fred in the stomach before he could said anything else, but she was sure everyone knew where he was going based on her red face. He wasn't wrong about it being a happy memory though. Other than few minutes ago it was probably the hardest she'd laughed in ages. She loved that Fred could make her laugh at the same time that he turned her brain to a hormonal mush. She reigned in her wandering mind however and decided just to think about Fred as she cast the spell.

"Expecto Patronum," she said quietly as she executed the proper wand movement.

For the first time she did get a proper silver mist, but it still wasn't a corporeal form. She offered a weak smile before shrugging at Harry. She hoped her embarrassment didn't show.

"That was a great improvement," he told her. "But you are casting hesitantly. Don't cast like you expect to fail, cast as if you are certain you never could. It's like Hagrid always says there isn't a spell you haven't mastered, remind yourself of that and try again."

She felt a real smile tugging at the corners of her mouth at that thought. She thought specifically of how full of joy she had been the first time she had ever consciously used her magic and then she squared her shoulders and cast again, this time with confidence in here voice. She watched in amazement as a shape began to form in the mist that she produced. At first it just seemed like a rolling ball, but it began to take on more detail and then she saw a chimpanzee roll across the floor before launching itself up into the air and swinging across vines that did not actually exist. She released a shaky breath she didn't know she'd been holding before she began to laugh again.

"I did it," she laughed. "I finally did it! I never expected a monkey, but I did it!"

"I think a chimpanzee is perfect," Fred said as he kissed her forehead. "They are very smart but still full of playfulness and curiosity."

"Plus they give people joy!" George cheered. "Even I wanted to have a chimp as a pet when I was younger. Mum wouldn't let me though."

"I'm sure she had enough mischief on her hands with the pair of you," Harry said with a laugh. "Great work Hermione. I knew you could do it. I wonder though, what did you think yours would be?"

"I don't really know, I guess I pictured something aquatic because of how much I like swimming," she said with a shrug. "I guess that sounds a bit silly when I say it out loud though."

"I'd like to go swimming with you," Fred said at the same time that George said "I bet chimps like to swim."

The whole group devolved into laughter once more.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I know, its been ages! and this isn't very long. My muse has been very fickle and I have not seen her long enough to do much writing at all in what feels like a century. SO even though I am posting a quick chapter to wrap this story up, my others are still on hiatus. Sorry guys and gals (assuming there is still anyone out there reading my stuff with how spotty my updating has been lol).**

* * *

"Hermione, can I talk with you for a bit?" Ron ask as he approached her in the common room with his head down.

"Sure Ron," she said quietly before patting the next cushion on the couch in invitation.

She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing when he settled onto the couch and his feet didn't reach the floor. He had to have shrunk more than a foot by now for that to happen. Instead of reacting to that at all she simply looked at his face and prayed the mirth didn't show in her face.

"Fred pulled me aside after the D.A. meeting today," he said, still not meeting her gaze, and instead speaking to his lap. "He told me that this was all a prank and it wouldn't stop until I apologized to you."

Hermione let the silence sit between them uncomfortably for a minute while she waited to see if he was actually going to apologize to her. He was not exactly forth coming.

"Okay," she said expectantly.

"The thing is," he said quietly. "I don't really think I ought to have to. I haven't done anything to you. In fact I think I am the injured party here. I mean Lavender is threatening to end things with me if this keeps up, can't be dating a child or something like that."

"You know, when this whole thing started I expected an apology from you," Hermione sighed, turning from him to look into the fire. "I eventually gave up on that though. Not because I thought you'd be too stubborn to end the prank that they pulled on you... despite that apparently being the case, but because of how inherently selfish you are."

"W-what?" Ron choked. "I'm no-"

"You are," she cut him off. "Even when you got scared about this. It wasn't because you might be injured by the magic, or that you might have some magical illness that could spread to others. You were only concerned in loosing some imagined points in some contest that you are the only one in. So of course why would apologizing to anyone ever occur to you. Certainly not me, not that this particular prank would have made it very easy for you to figure out it was owed to me."

"Are you the one making me short then?!" he snapped.

"You really don't listen," Hermione sighed. "You know Ron, I really want to be your friend, but this year you've made it very hard. Right now in particular. Just say your apology so the spell will end, and then we can go about our semi annual refusal to talk to one another until you figure out if you even want to be my friend."

"I'm sorry that you're mad at me," he groused. "I'm sorry that you're jealous of Lavender. I'm sorry that you're being a hag about it and cursed me to shrink into nothingness rather than being an adult about this!"

"That's enough Ron," Fred cut in before Hermione could respond, not that she even knew what to say to the boy sitting beside her.

"Hermione didn't hex you, I did," he snapped. "Technically George helped, but if you want to be pissed at someone it's me. I did it because you do owe her an apology you twat! You were stringing her along, knowing she had a crush on you, for over a year, and then you rubbed your relationship with Lavender in her face despite how diplomatic she was being about her hurt feelings. And the worst part is, she never would have done anything about it! She would have just let you keep being an are to her like you have been for years! She would have let you keep treating her like a 'bookish prude' and if I ever hear you say that to her again I will punch you blood or not."

"I never-"

"Don't lie Ronald Weasley," George said quietly as he joined the conversation and put a soothing hand on Fred's shoulder. "She repeats it enough, I am sure she thinks she's the one that came up with the term, but I was the one that kept you from getting pummeled by Gred here the first time you said it to her at the Leaky when you were annoyed with her about her cat."

"Boys, maybe we ought to have this conversation elsewhere," Ginny said, appearing from Merlin knows where, offering Hermione a sheepish grin. "You've got an audience, and I don't think this is what that muggle show Hermione told us is about. You know Family Fighters?"

"Family Feud," Hermione chuckled. "And no, there isn't actually any fighting on it. It's a game show."

"Know-it-all," Ron groused before he offered her a sheepish grin of his own. "I was just kidding about the bookish prude thing... I don't know if you're a prude or not actually. I don't suppose I ever will either."

"No you won't," Fred growled. "You don't deserve the right. Apologize to her, or we really will need to go somewhere without an audience."

"Look, I am sorry if I hurt you," Ron said quietly, finally really meeting her gaze. "I've got a bad temper, and I am jealous, and I guess I can sometimes be kind of hateful. I don't actually want to hurt you though. You are my friend, and you are important to me. Do we really stop talking that often?"

"Yeah, we do," Hermione said with a sad smile. "Apology accepted though. Just so you know, I don't care about you guys being together anymore either. Well thats not right, I mean that it doesn't upset me. I do actually care if you are together because she seems to make you happy. I just mean, I don't want you anymore so I'm not jealous. Merlin what an embarrassing sentence to say out loud. Oh look, you're growing."

"And you're rambling dear," Fred said with a quiet chuckle as he grabbed her hand and brushed his thumb over her knuckles before pulling her up from the couch. "Come, lets find somewhere else to be."

"Hey, I am growing," Ron cheered. "Thank Merlin. Lav, look I'm not first year sized anymore!"

And just like that Ron was running away, not that Hermione was sitting somewhere watching it happen like it would have been not quite so long ago. It wasn't that long at all that she was on the outside a little more often than she was strictly comfortable with. This time she wasn't though. She was bunched under Fred's arm as they followed George over to sit with Angelina with Ginny bringing up the rear. Like a magnet Harry was drawn to their little group to flop down on the floor behind the red headed witch. Hermione smiled at the new group dynamic as she was pulled down into Fred's lap, and it grew large enough to make her cheeks hurt when she saw Ron smile at her from across the common room before grabbing Lavendar's hand and dragging her away to do the sorts of things he never should have been doing in front of others to begin with.


End file.
